


That's What You Get

by TemenCMoth



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 09:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9172795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TemenCMoth/pseuds/TemenCMoth
Summary: "I don't know." Kenma finally said, a little louder than he usually would, even above the silence. Kuroo stilled with his back facing Kenma's. Blonde hair fell past his chin as Kenma tilted his head slightly back."Why don't you ask Tetsuro?"Kuroo's face immediately paled and he whipped around to face Kenma. "Oh my god, Kenma, please don't--"





	

**Author's Note:**

> I think I got this idea 2 years ago but I've been reading a lot of kuroken lately SO enjoy

"Lovely day." Said Fukunaga, popping out of his last stretch. The gym had a peacefulness to it, with the team smattered throughout doing gentle warmups. A couple who were already done had set up the net and were working on the rest of the court.

"I'll get the balls out!" Said Inuoka, shining at the chance to be helpful. He ran past Yaku, who was making his way over with his water bottle.

Yamamoto came by and slapped Funkunaga's hand lazily. "Sup man?"

"Sup." Fukunaga took a pull from his water bottle and Yamamoto began his stretching routine. He looked around the gym, content with the air of the room.

Yaku passed by Lev and paused, looking at his stretch. Lev had his legs spread at an angle, trying to meet the floor between his legs. Yaku dug a knee into his back and yelled something at him, making Lev yelp but bend down farther. Yamamoto sniggered, getting into his own stretch.

"Yaku is ruthless."

"Lev is spineless." Fukunaga said, finishing up his own routine and greeting Yaku. "What's up man?"

"Not much." Yaku bent down to deposit his water bottle. "Have you guys seen Kuroo yet?"

"Uh..." Yamamoto reached. "No?"

Yaku paused. "He's usually here before me. He hasn't texted me anything either..."

"Maybe Kenma slept in." Fukunaga supplied. "Our unmotivated setter makes Kuroo late all the time!" He thought a second. "Well, sometimes. Come to think of it he's usually pretty punctual."

Yamamoto got on the ground to stretch. "One of them could be sick."

"They could be sick! Wait, that's not good."

"Well..." Yaku worried his lip. "I hope they're both okay. I guess worrying doesn't get us anywhere, does it?"

At that moment, the gym door slammed open and Kenma walked through with a mission. His eyes were uncharacteristically steely and his face was pulled down in a harsh frown. His feet slammed all 120 pounds of him with a fury. Kuroo followed ten steps behind, face similarly dark. They dragged a heavy atmosphere in with them from the morning light.

It quickly became clear that Kenma's mission was to get away from Kuroo as quickly as possible. He was stalking towards the far side of the gym before Kuroo and his longer legs and height cut him off. He stooped so he was Kenma's level.

"You are just as much to blame as I am and you know it."

Kenma looked indignant. "Well I'm not the one who started things in--"

" _I'm_ not the one who pulled out the--"

"Who didn't even have the basic idea to grab the blanket _2 feet away_?" They spoke in progressively lower voices, almost ending at a growl in their chests.

Kuroo turned on his heel and crossed his arms. "I said I was sorry, I don't know what else you want from me. Give me the silent treatment if you want, but we both know that it's childish." Kenma kept his thunderstorming face pointed at the back of Kuroo's bedhead.

Fukunaga gulped. "That's not a good sign."

Inuoka, as unable to read the atmosphere as always, lackadaisically wheeled over a cart of volleyballs to the duo. "Hey Kenma, do you think we'll need the other cart today?"

Kenma's eyes flashed over. He went quiet for a moment, considering the question. Any tension potentially broken by the freshman came back threefold with a chilling vengeance.

"I don't know." Kenma finally said, a little louder than he usually would, even above the silence. Kuroo stilled with his back facing Kenma's. Blonde hair fell past his chin as Kenma tilted his head slightly back.

"Why don't you ask Tetsuro?"

Kuroo's face immediately paled and he whipped around to face Kenma. "Oh my god, Kenma, please don't--"

"Don't what, _Tetsuro_?" The name was just overenunciated as he looked up to meet Kuroo's eye with an obviously false innocence. Kuroo stopped mid movement like he had to reboot himself.

Inuoka began to shift uncomfortably, facing the brunt of whatever just happened. He slowly backed up, wheeling the cart away.

Fukunaga hmm'd as he watched the display from a few feet away. Thanks to Inuoka the atmosphere already seemed easier to carry, even if this weird fight wasn't over. "I mean, they are childhood friends."

Yamamoto looked up from his stretches. "Hah? Kuroo and Kenma over there?" He reached down to hug his calves. "What's being friends got to do with anything?"

Fukunaga put a hand under his chin in the picture of wise philosophers. "Well, it's probably just an embarrassing nickname he drags out to punish Kuroo. I mean, they are obviously fighting."

Kuroo raised his hands up, twitchy, which was the equivalent of frantic flailing to most people. "Don't-- in front of everyone!" Kuroo hissed, seemingly not aware or caring that everyone could hear their spat.

Yaku frowned, concerned. "He really doesn't like that name, he's white as a sheet. Wonder what he did to deserve it?"

Yamamoto laughed. "Not even you wanna give him the benefit of the doubt?"

Yalu scoffed. "Trust me, I'm the last person who would. He knocked over everything in the storage shed the other day!"

Kuroo took a step closer to Kenma, with a face that looked like pleading. "Kenma, please--."

"Practice is starting," Kenma turned fully towards him now, hands primly behind his back. He reached up and twirled a strand of his dye job around his finger, narrowing his eyes. " _Tetsu_."

A chill came back through the spine of the team at the way he said that. Kenma rarely had any inflection in his voice, and an unbridled wish for eternal damnation certainly wasn't on his usual rotation of vague annoyance and quiet gratitude. Kenma let the hair fall and walked over to the volleyball cart piloted by Inuoka as Kuroo was looking like for all the world he would start crying. Yamamoto let out a low whistle.

"We know what to call him if he ever gives us trouble, I guess."

Yaku looked a little doubtful. "I don't know, it's probably just a Kenma thing. I doubt he'd react the same way to any of us."

*****

Practice calmed down a little after that. Possibly helped by the fact that the most Kenma and Kuroo interacted for the first third was passing by each other, the knife sharp tension between usually thick friends was all but forgotten.

Then they hit spike practice.

All the spikers lined up on one side of the net, as usual, hitting (or not hitting) Kenma's sets one by one. No one even noticed when time slipped and it was Kuroo's turn to bat.

The gym got a little quieter very quickly, a couple of people worried on hitched breath for their captain's safety.

Miraculously, Kenma didn't aim the ball to the side of his head in some sort of weird revenge. A flick of Kenma's wrists led it to a smooth serve. The ball hit solidly in Kuroo's palm, giving a satisfying smack on the other side of the hardwood floor. He pumped his fist. A collective sigh released as it became clear that whatever happened before practice wouldn't affect their generally professional attitude toward the game.

Kenma reached out as Kuroo walked by to get back in line and delicately grabbed at the hem of his shirt.

Occasionally, Kenma would stop someone after a sloppy or successful spike to murmur his observations to them before they slotted back into the rotation. It usually took the guise of a quick pat on the arm or an outstretched hand that never touched ground, but the small gesture felt like an apology for earlier in the day. Kuroo leaned in a little, curious as to what Kenma needed to say.

"Good hit, Tetsuro."

Kuroo stayed there, Kenma's fingers still caught on his shirt, stick still. The look he gave without changing his expression felt like a parent walking in on you making out with the back of your hand, or a teacher finding a rude doodle on the incomplete and incorrect homework you turned in late. Kenma seemed immune to this piercing, pervasive disappointment sucking the air from everyone's chests, that was leaving a cold vacuum in its wake. He continued to look up at Kuroo with sparkling eyes like nothing was wrong. He gave a small tug then released Kuroo and turned his attention to the next guy in line.

Kuroo stayed an extra moment to let his hand twitch before stalking off in the direction of his water bottle.

*****

"No Lev, your stance is--" Coach Nekomata turned to Kenma. "Could you grab Kuroo for a minute?"

"Sure."

They watched as Kenma moved quickly and quietly to Kuroo, practicing receives with a second year. Kenma stopped silently behind his back, waiting. When Kuroo was down and ready to receive he leaned in and said something between his neck and ear. Kuroo jumped up, whipped around and promptly got a ball to the back of the neck.

***

"Yaku I'm dying."

"Stop being a baby, it's just a dumb nickname." He looked down to Kuroo, who was crouched low on the wall with his face hidden by a towel pressed up with his hands. "Honestly, keep up this reaction and the others will want to do it too."

The towel slipped off Kuroo's face to reveal a look of absolute terror.

***

"Give me a hand, Tetsuro?"

Kuroo threw the stray ball back with one jerky move. Kenma didn't move or speak after he caught it easily, just looked at him for a couple of moments. Kuroo didn't move a muscle. Kenma tilted his head, smiled just a little cruelly, and left a Nekoma red, trembling mess that was supposed to be their captain in his wake as he spun away on his heel.

The team stared at this exchange, transfixed. Fukunaga finally spoke up.

"Kenma is... Powerful."

*****

"FUCK THIS!" Roared Kuroo in bright red. The entire gym froze, panicked. They all they looked over just in time to see Kuroo bodily lift Kenma by his waist and heft him over his shoulder.

Kenma immediately writhed, trying to get out of the new solid grip around his abdomen. "Tet--"

"Oh, don't _start_ with that shit, we are going _outside_ and we are working this out!"

Kenma smacked his lower back testily and a little clumsily. "Oh, is the storage closet too _private_ for you?"

Kuroo ignored him and kicked open the double doors of the gym. Kenma's writhing was a half-effort by the time they were stalking out of view.

Coach Nekomata just sighed. He turned to the rest of the shocked team. "Practice was almost over anyway. Go ahead and cool down, and I'll talk to _him_ " he jerked his thumb toward the swinging door, "later."

The rest of the team worked through stretches cautiously, keeping an eye on the doors and windows like they might explode at any moment. Some were quicker and some were slower than usual filtering into the locker room.

"That was... Weird." Yamamoto broke the shuffling of stripping. "That was weird, right?"

"Did Kenma hit Kuroo's ass on the way out?" Fukunaga asked.

"I don't think so." Yamamoto pulled his sweaty shirt over his head. "I don't think so."

"Does this usually happen?" Asked Lev, eyes shining. "Does volleyball have dramatic moments like this a lot?!"

"Don't look excited about that!" Cried somebody. "I thought Kenma was going to stab Kuroo in the gut and smile about it! It was terrifying!"

"This doesn't happen all the time..." Inuoka looked upset. "Is this because I asked about the volleyball cart?" He looked around, trying to get an answer from someone.

Yaku suddenly jerked into a pause mid-change, making Inuoka flinch. "Oh my god."

Yamamoto looked at him, weirded out. "Yaku?"

"OH MY GOD!" Yaku turned to the door, mortified and ready to kill. He wrestled his shirt back over his head. "The fucking STORAGE CLOSET?"

"Storage closet?"

"Storage closet?"

"Oh god, it was about the cart!"

He glared around the room, face landing on Lev. "Where did that jackass go?"

"Uh-- Uh--" Lav was, rarely, flustered. "Outside?"

Yaku's gaze landed on Yamamoto next. "How are we supposed to know?" He covered his bare chest. "What do you need him for anyway?"

Yaku wordlessly snapped up his things and stalked out. "That jackass is gonna DIE the next time I see him." He grumbled fiercely. When he walked out it was just possible to hear him mumbling something about "stupid jerks" and "sanitizing" and "think of the _children_."

Everyone left watched him leave. They turned to each other, and by silent agreement, continued to change.

*****

"Please don't give me a boner during practice." Kuroo hung his head defeated, trying to look properly chastised as he sat with his legs spread.

"Do you know why you deserved it?" Kenma was planted firmly between his longer legs, arms crossed. The sun was reaching the golden hour, prettily lighting up his hair and eyes behind the gym. "I'll stop if you apologize." His eyes were sharp. " _Really_ apologize this time."

"I'm sorry your mom walked in on us."

Kenma took a step closer, keeping his face passive. Kuroo's hand twitched, then reached across the inches to replace Kenma's hair behind his ear. "I'm sorry Yaku almost walked in on us too."

Kenma's shoulders sagged and he leaned his forehead into Kuroo's. "I don't--" He sighed, face heating up. "I know you like doing it in those kinds of places, but you also know that I really don't want to get caught."

"I know."

"I'm not ashamed of you."

Kuroo's hands worked their way around his waist. "I figured that out when you claimed me in front of everybody." He squeezed a little and threw a leer. "I also figured that last ni--"

" _Stop_!" Kenma groaned, putting his face in his hands. "Today was fun" ("For one of us.") "but it was embarrassing enough for the both of us."

Kuroo pulled his hands away from his face and gave them a chaste but lingering kiss. Kenma looked at his face, to his large hands running over his own knuckles, then back to Kuroo's face. He took half a beat then glomped onto Kuroo, attaching them at the mouth.

********

 

 

 

 

 

  
Inuoka came back to the locker room, eyes big as volleyballs.

"I. Uh."

(" _Oh Kenma_ ")

"Did you find them?" Yamamoto asked.

( _A harsh breath_ )

"I uh."

(" _Tetsu_ ")

"Are you--" Fukunaga moved a little closer. "Are you okay?"

"I." Inuoka began to cry. "I did."

**Author's Note:**

> If u didn't get it Kenma calls him by his first name during nookie and got real upset at him bc mom came home early whoopsie. 
> 
> Also fun fact for some reason I call Fukunaga Taketora the whole time writing this? Yall just be glad that this isn't a thousand extra words honestly. Juast call me a poseur I guess. 
> 
> lmk if you liked it/found a mistake!


End file.
